Albuquerque—Karo “The Heat” Parisyan was asked to leave a local gym where he was doing a seminar when an overwhelmingly horrid body odor the popular fighter possessed caused the members to hurl and curse their mothers.

“Don’t they know who I am bro?” Karo told MMAjerk journalists through a furious unibrow earlier toay. “These idiots have no idea what I could do to them.” Karo reportedly tried to coast the owner of the gym outside for a fight, but the owner wanted to avoid getting any of the terrible stink on himself and declined as politely as he could. It is widely believed that Karo would have won a boring decision if the owner did indeed fight him.

We here at MMAjerk try not to report on these disgustingly stereotypical stories, but we’ll make exceptions for Mr. Parisyan and his cheap shot taking family members that finally end up getting what’s coming to them. *Cough* Manny Gamburyan *cough*

Las Vegas—A list of companies that will hold sponsor space on Randy Couture’s shorts at UFC 91 has been released. Only MMAjerk has gotten access to this list.

  • Viagra
  • Fiber One Cereal
  • AARP
  • Life Alert(word on the street is that they’re shelling out huge piles of cash to be able to have him wear one in the ring)
  • Dr. Henry Allen Phist-Proctologist
  • Sunbeam Prunes

This just in, we’re huge, unoriginal dickheads… like Karo Parisyan ba dum cha!