Gary Shaw trying not to admire and covet Tanks physique.

Gary Shaw trying not to admire and covet Tank's physique.

Las Vegas—President of the EliteXC fight promotion Gary Shaw was caught just hours ago egging UFC President Dana White’s house and car. The war of words between these two has been very much in the public eye. White went out to investigate the noise at about 10pm only to find egg all over his belongings. The police arrived several minutes later only to find Shaw two houses down huffing and puffing like he had just ran the Boston Marathon. It was later discovered that he was just a few feet away from where he parked his car to escape. We think we speak for everybody when we say what a gross, fat, embarrassing, fatty, McFat fuck.

White challenged Shaw to a boxing match to settle their score, “He can prove he has a bigger heart than fucking Tito [Ortiz] if he does that. We’ll make a similar show and I’ll even let him air it on fucking CBS and we’ll donate the money to fucking charity.”

Shaw, obviously afraid of that idea, fired back at White and challenged him to an eating contest, “If he’s so bad we’ll see if he can eat more pie than me. We can make a show about it and I’ll even let him air it on his precious SpikeTV.”

White, obviously afraid of that idea, could not be reached for further comment.

No charges were filed against Gary Shaw as Dana White felt being morbidly obese was punishment enough.